My Apologies

"I had to apologize to a lot of people.

I had to tell them I don't know what happened and that I'm sorry."
- Shane Doan

Throughout my life I have hurt a lot of people. Whether I offended them, or was just plain cruel. Although at times I felt bad that someone was hurt, I rarely apologized, or even felt a need to say sorry. I felt that my honesty was justified, simply because it was honest. Until now, I never realized how much I have really hurt those I claimed to love. Just because I feel something is true, doesn't mean that I first of all, have the right to say it, and secondly, am right by any means. I want to apologize to each one of you that I have hurt individually, but until I can apologize to you specifically, I hope you will take this as more than just a "sorry" but rather a pledge that I will try my best to never hurt you... ever again. I want to make this right, and you didn't deserve the pain I put you through.

I am sorry to my family for never giving you the love and respect you deserve.
I am sorry to my church leaders for showing such disrespect, when you only were trying to help.
I am sorry to good friends who I betrayed, you deserved better.
I am sorry to friends who I thought I was only being honest with, I know I hurt you.
I am sorry to roommates for treating you worse than you deserved.
I am sorry to people who desperately tried to get my attention, who I ignored, give me another chance.
I am sorry to teachers and educators who I talked back to, I learned so much from you.
I am sorry to my parents for not telling you how much I really do love you.
I am sorry to my old bosses, when I left without notice, or didn't work as hard as I could have.
I am sorry to people who've looked up to me, I could have been a better example.
I am sorry to my sisters, I never gave you the time of day, and you deserved that.
I am sorry to those who I lied to, you deserved the truth.
I am sorry to any one's heart I broke, you don't deserve the pain.
I am sorry to you boys who I just can't let go of, you may have broken my heart, but I love you.
I am sorry to coworkers who I ignore and avoid, just because you like to talk doesn't mean I can't respect you.

I am sorry to anyone who I have hurt, offended, lied to, betrayed, exploited, avoided, embarrassed, been rude to, heart broken, or in any other way caused pain.

I apologize for ever making you feel inferior or hurting you. And I promise to do my best, starting today, to never make you, or anyone, feel like you are anything less than you truly are.

If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I will work throughout my life to made right the wrong I have done. Thank you... and I really am so sorry.

- J