I've been excited for months for EFY. This is my dream job, as I've told so many of you. I loved EFY as a participant. I had some of the most amazing experiences. I thank the Lord for that, but I also thank my counselors for their guidance and love. I know from personal experience how the love of a counselor can make all the difference.
One year at EFY I had a counselor who at first was the perfect counselor. She talked with me and let me confide in her. She invited me to her room to talk, to hang out. She motioned me over and took hundreds of pictures with her camera of us. She ran up to me and danced with me at the dances. She put so much effort in making me feel loved, and I really bonded with her. But it didn't last forever. The second EFY is over she stopped talking to me. Then I heard from my sister's friend that that counselor talked crap about me and said all these terrible things. What did I do to deserve that? Answer? Nothing. So, why did it happen? Well, I wish I knew. All I know is that broke my heart and yeah I've grown from it, but I still haven't full recovered from that. I still have major trust issues because of her. It still breaks my heart just thinking about it.
What did I learn from that? I don't want to be one of those counselors who pretends to be one thing, but it completely someone else. And I don't want to be one of those counselors who talks bad about any of her girls. So I decided. I am going to think the nicest things about each of my girls, and I'm going to love them. I'm going to take care of them.
So here I am, sitting in my dorm room on my bed and I am thinking. It's been a few years since I've been here at SVU, but being back here, I'm close to tears... I just feel so heart broken because of that experience I had. Why haven't I gotten over it?... I have no idea. All I know is that I don't want to ever fail these girls. I won't let one of those girls feel the pain I still feel.
But that doesn't mean I am not nervous, and it doesn't mean I'm not scared. It does mean that I'm not going to let anyone down though. I have faith in myself. I can do this.
So, have any advice for me? Anything you think I can do to be the best kind of counselor? I'd love to hear from all of you.
Anyways, that's all for now. More confessions to come.
- J
Don't let yourself think negative thoughts about the girls EVER. And whenever you think something good about a girl, vocalize it to her. Finally, be sure to spread compliments around equally to all the girls so they all feel special. Each girl should leave the week thinking she is loved, fabulous, and a favorite of yours. A because, of course, she WILL be all three!
ReplyDeleteI know you, Jen, and I know you will be NOTHING like that counselor of yours. All those kids are going to love you..I honestly can't think how they couldn't love you! And the only thing you need to do is love them back. Be nice like the counselor was to you, but really mean it and don't let those kids go. I'm so excited for you to do this experience and and I know it will be wonderful for you and the kids. I promise it'll be okay. Just be your hilarious, happy self and there's no way they can't love you! I thought you were so cool from the day I first met you and I still think you're awesome. I love you lots :)
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