"I'm on an emotional roller coaster, and I just can't get off"

What a week. That's for sure. The week started out normal, with lots of stress. Work got to me as usual, with me questioning my sanity every hour. Well, I guess there is a pro and con to my work week. Tuesday I got pulled in for a "meeting" where I was yelled at for nothing by one of my supervisors. I started balling, and said I needed to excuse myself. She followed me into the restroom and waited till I was done, to continue the "conversation". I excused myself once again due to the fact that I was balling, shaking, and near vomiting at this point. The next day I went to work again, and guess what I got stuck in again.... Another "meeting" where I got yelled at. I was brought to tears again (I don't usually cry. Not in sad movies, not for anything.) and then she said that she couldn't handle it anymore. She couldn't have employees who disrespect her like that and ball every time she tries to talk to them. So she said she was "done" with me. Whatever that means, all I know is I was glad she was done, because I was way past done. Then AmeriCorps tried to find me another position, but they were full, so I had to resign. What a disappointing week to say the least. If anyone wants to donate to the Jenna-Baker-is-poor-needs-a-job-and-money-asap Fund. Money will be accepted through paypal. Thanks :) Now I am jobless, and since I am not a student (my job wouldn't allow me to take classes) I can not get a student job, so jobs are scarce; And I have no classes, or anything. I feel like the biggest bum, because now I am either job searching or sitting on my couch watching tv and playing Farmville on facebook. I need a hobby...

So the work week was terrible, but yesterday I had the opportunity of a lifetime. I got to perform at Muse Music Cafe (my favorite cafe in the Provo/Orem area), where I have so many good memories. I got to open for one of my favorite local bands, j.wride, whose three members Jesse, Austin, and Garrett, are three of the most talented musicians I have ever met (maybe besides David Charles). My family drove from Orem and Murray to support me, and I also had friends and family from Provo come. My "fans" took up half the audience, and I just had a blast performing with my twin Jon. We were named blueJs (we wore blue, haha). **Pictures/video might come on here, if I can find someone who took videos or pictures.** But I was way way nervous, I started cracking really lame jokes between songs just to calm down my own nerves. But I did get a few chuckles, that was good. And yeah, it was so so fun. I was completely exhausted by the time Benjamin Burton opened for j.wride's second show, and so I headed home to fall asleep to the sound of the disney channel and my roommate's computer clicking. It was brilliant. In the middle of the night, I had to wake up and take my contacts out. OUCH. They were like plastered in my eyes. But after a lot of struggle, and one chocolate chip cookie, I got them out. Then I stayed up for an hour or two, and then went back to sleep. I forget what kind of exhausted energy I have at 3 in the morning. Ha ha.

A MAJOR thank you to all my family who came from near and far to support me, and a thank you to all my friends who took the time to come as well (I even had a friend drive down from Salt Lake just to see me!). When it comes down to the little things like supporting me in concert, I got to see who my real and true friends are :)

Thank you once again, everyone.

Anyways, thats all from this teenage drama queen. More confessions to come.

- J